Self-esteem for women blog

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I recognised that I had low self-esteem a few years ago when I was doing some research and found a self-esteem test. My responses indicated that I had low self-esteem which explained the reason for how I was feeling and what was not happening in my life. Since then I have taken action to improve my self-esteem. However, I read the following article written by Gretchen Ruben in the Huffington Post the other day and it prompted me to reassess my levels of self-esteem.

‘The subject of self-esteem is a topic that has generated a fair amount of controversy over the last few decades, but one thing seems clear: you don’t get healthy self-esteem from constantly telling yourself how great you are, or even from other people telling you how great you are. You get healthy self-esteem from behaving in ways that you find estimable.

In other words, the best way to feel better about yourself is to do something worthy of your own respect: keep a difficult resolution, meet a challenge, solve a problem, learn a skill, cross something unpleasant off your to-do list. And one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone else — do good, feel good.’

Gretchen goes on to say how clearing up others people trash caused a feel good feeling inside and how a friend got through some rough times by doing good deeds for others. It struck me that a number of years ago I started doing voluntary work for the local school and young offenders team. My participation was some of the most fulfilling activity I had ever undertaken and made me feel good.

Telling yourself that you love yourself certainly helps raise your self-esteem a little however, it’s the action that you take that really gets things moving. The more you do and achieve the higher your levels of self-esteem. The higher your levels of self-esteem the more confident you feel, the more you achieve and the better you treat yourself. When you value yourself you make decisions that are good for you based on what you want so you create a happy fulfilling life. With high levels of self-esteem you are better able to recognise when there are people and things in your life that no longer support your values. Once you are aware you can take responsibility to change the situation.

So if you feel irritated by the things around you and what’s happening in your life then maybe you have made decisions that are not in your best interests and perhaps not based on what you value about life. Maybe you do not value yourself sufficiently which means that you have self-esteem issues.

You can take a free self-esteem test here

To speak to Noelyne or to subscribe to her free newsletter please contact her via her website at http://www.noelyne.com

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The following article appeared recently in Sky News Wire.

SkyNewswire.com - Self-Esteem Boosters For Women - Women’s – News

Women have learned all the secrets and little tricks that can make their faces glow, their bodies firm and their skin and hair flawless. But there’s one area where we still have much to learn. And it has a lot of bearing on how we look as well. It is in taking care of our self-esteem.

We all know that when we’re feeling down, inferior or unworthy, our faces sag and our overall features look tired and defeated. Some may even argue that have strong self-esteem is more attractive than having the right physical attributes, and they may have a point. Following are a few simple tips that can help women rev up their self-esteem.

1. Press The Magic Button — Most of us need to boost our self-confidence every now and then. One of the best ways to do this is to recall exactly who we are and why we should feel good about ourselves. Create a Magic Button — a mental image of three things that make you feel good — and press on it once in a while. These things could include images of your biggest achievements, the smiling faces of people who matter to you or something as simple as a piece of music.

This Magic Button is especially important when we down and things aren’t going our way. We have to remember that whatever setbacks we’ve faced are temporary. We’ve overcome them before to reach success. Press that magic button.

2. Overcome self-consciousness — Yes, self-consciousness is probably the biggest enemy of self-confidence. We tend to look at ourselves too harshly and focus on our perceived faults and shortcomings. To overcome self-consciousness, you should try focusing on others: try to put other people at ease, check the room for people who you might learn to like, make a mental note of possible business contacts.

Sometimes, if focusing on other people proves difficult, we can ease our self-consciousness by looking intently at our surroundings — examining paintings, admiring furniture and decor, anything that will take our minds off ourselves.

3. Don’t Stand For Undue Criticism - Sometimes our self-esteem ebbs because we allow others to treat us like rags and walk all over us. This is something we should never allow, even if we have made a mistake or come up wanting in a situation. We should bear in mind that even top-notch people make mistakes.

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How much does our professional life and the level of our self-esteem affect the quality of our relationships?

Do you feel accepted by your partners no matter how good or bad your professional life is going?

Do you see your  partner as loving you for better or worse?

These questions are explored in a recent study included in the July issue of SAGE’s Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, an official publication of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, published by SAGE Publications.

The article, “For better or worse? Self-esteem and the contingencies of acceptance in marriage” The findings were culled from the daily diaries of over 150 married couples.

It concluded that people with low self-esteem incorrectly perceived their partner’s acceptance and love to be contingent on their professional accomplishments. To help to unravel the mysteries of relationships as they naturally occur in real life, husbands and wives reported on their professional successes and failures while also reporting on the degree to which they felt accepted and loved by their partner.

Self-esteem was found to be a key indicator of how people perceived their partner’s approval and support. Men and women with low self-esteem felt that their partner’s love was contingent on their daily professional successes–they felt more loved on days when they were more successful. Low self-esteem women also felt less accepted and loved by their partners on days when they failed at work or school.

In contrast, men and women with high self-esteem perceived their partner’s love as unconditional. In fact, high self-esteem women even tended to feel more loved on days when they reported failing at work. The findings also suggested the importance of teaching people with low self-esteem how events in their own lives may, unreasonably, spill over into their marriages, causing them to see their spouses more negatively than is justified.

Go to http://psp.sagepub.com/cgi/reprint/32/7/866 to access the article in the July issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

If you would like to improve the quality of your relationship please contact me for a no obligation consultation free of charge.  Details of how to contact me are on my website at www.noelyne.com

Best regards,

Noelyne

Technorati Tags: Confidence, relationships, self-esteem, women

I want you de-clutter your home and your mind so that it frees you up to build your self-esteem and create the life that you want.

So over the next week go through every room in your house and remove the things that you no longer need or have not used in over 12 months, the things that are broken or chipped, the things that irritate you or you dislike. Be ruthless.

Once you have done this decide what it is that you want to do with these items. Can you give them to charity? Do you want to sell them on e-bay? Perhaps a family member or friend needs them? How about a car boot sale? Or just take them to the householders waste. Whatever you decide do it quickly and have fun!

For more tips on how to create a successful life you can subscribe to my free newsletter at www.noelyne.com

Here’s to a confident you,

Noelyne

Technorati Tags: Confidence, low self esteem, self esteem women